Conclusion
Let Today Be The Day You Give Up Who
You’ve Been For Who You Can Become
Every day, think as you wake up, ‘Today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.’
—DALAI LAMA
Things do not change. We change.
—HENRY DAVID THOREAU
Where you are is a result of who you were, but where you end up depends entirely on who you choose to be from this moment forward.
It’s your time. Don’t put off creating and experiencing the life—
happiness, health, wealth, success, and love—that you truly want and deserve for another day. As my mentor Kevin Bracy always urged:
“Don’t wait to be great.” If you want your life to improve, you have to improve yourself first. Get The Miracle Morning 30-Day Life Transformation Fast Start Kit today at www.TMMbook.com. Then, with or without an Accountability Partner, commit to your first Miracle Morning and beginning your 30-Day Life Transformation Challenge tomorrow. You know, tomorrow—the day you begin your journey to creating the most extraordinary life you have ever imagined.
If there is anything I can do to support you or add value to your
life in any way, please let me know.
Contact Me Anytime
I’m always grateful to connect with like-minded folks, and find it especially cool to hear from people who have read my books, seen my videos, or attended my speeches. So, if you have any questions or would just like to say hello, go to www.YoPalHal.com and click on the “Contact” tab to send me a message. I look forward to hearing from you, and exploring how I can add as much value to your life as I possibly can.
Let’s Keep Helping Others
May I ask you a quick favor?
If this book has added value to your life, if you feel like you’re better off after reading it, and you see that The Miracle Morning can be a new beginning for you to take any—or every—area of your life to the next level, I’m hoping you’ll do something for someone you love:
Give this book to them. Let them borrow your copy. Ask them to read it. Or better yet, get them their own copy, maybe as a birthday or Christmas gift. Come to think of it—what better book to give someone for Christmas than the only book that makes every morning feel like Christmas?!
Or it could be for no special occasion at all, other than to say,
“Hey, I love and appreciate you, and I want to help you live your best life. Read this.”
If you believe, as I do, that being a great friend or family member is about helping your friends and loved ones to become the best versions of themselves, I encourage you to share this book with
them.
Please spread the word.
Thank you so much.
— AN ESSENTIAL BONUS —
Everybody needs feedback, and it’s a heck
of a lot cheaper than paying a trainer.
—DOUG LOWENSTEIN
Ask for feedback from people with diverse backgrounds.
Each one will tell you one useful thing.
—STEVE JOBS
It was 2 o’clock in the morning. I couldn’t sleep. Still renting a room from Matt, I was sitting at my cheap imitation-pine desk, crammed into my 12’ x 12’ living space. This sucked. Something had to change. Or maybe I needed to change.
Staring at my laptop and feeling frustrated with my life, I suddenly got inspired. I don’t remember exactly what prompted it, but I opened up a new email and started adding a very diverse group of people to the To : field. Close friends, family, co-workers, former bosses, acquaintances, the girl I was dating, and even—believe it or not—my ex-girlfriends. You name it, I was ready to make some radical changes in my life. I was ready for a quantum leap in my potential, and I felt the only way for me to get an accurate assessment of who I was, how I was showing up in my life, and where I needed to improve was to solicit honest feedback from the people who knew me best.
I stopped when I got to 23 email addresses, because, well, I am a huge fan of Michael Jordan and have a mild obsession with the
number 23. I began to compose an email to these people, who each knew me in different capacities and to varying degrees, explaining that I wanted to grow personally, to be a better friend, son, brother, and colleague, and that the only thing to do was to get feedback from people who could see things about me that I couldn’t see about myself. I asked if they would please take a few minutes to reply, at their earliest convenience, sharing what they believed were the three biggest areas that I needed to improve. I asked that they be brutally honest, and assured them that they would not hurt my feelings. In fact, the only thing that would hurt my feelings was for them to hold back, because doing so would only limit my growth.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that this was the most nerve-racking email I’ve ever composed. I almost chickened out. I considered deleting it, and just going to bed. Thank God I didn’t. No, I took a deep breath, and I clicked send. Then, I went to bed, fell asleep, and awaited their responses.
Six hours later, I woke up. Wait, did I really send that email at 2
o’clock in the morning, or was that just a dream? I logged into my email. Nope, not a dream. I definitely sent it. And I already had two replies. One was from Mom, and the other was from J. Brad Britton, a well-respected Region Manager at the 200 million dollar company I worked for. Oh boy, here goes… I paused for a second and reminded myself that the purpose of this exercise was for me to grow and improve, so no matter what anyone said in his or her email, I was going to keep an open mind and not get offended. Easier said than done.
I opened Mom’s email first. Hey son, I got your email. (Really Mom? I had no idea that you got it.) Well, you know I think you’re perfect! But if I must give you some constructive feedback, it’s that you should call your mother more often! I know you’re busy, but it would be nice to hear from you every once in a while. Anyway, I love you! Come visit soon… Love, Mom. I opened up a blank document on my computer and titled it “Constructive Feedback and My New Commitments.” #1. Call Mom at least once a week.
Then I opened the email from my Region Manager, J. Brad Britton. J. Brad is someone I admired and had learned a great deal from. Not to mention, he was one of the most positive people I knew.
Although we only saw each other a few times throughout the year at conferences and on company trips, he knew me well, at least in a professional capacity. My Pal Hal! I love your email. However, I am only willing to give you the 3 pieces of “constructive” feedback you have requested if you let me follow it up with 3 things I like about you.
Deal? Okay, here goes…
J. Brad proceeded to enlighten me to a few of my professional and social “blind spots,” all of which caught me by surprise. To be honest, my feelings did get a bit hurt. I felt a little defensive. That’s not true. I’m not really like that. He obviously doesn’t know me as well as I thought he did. Then, it occurred to me that it didn’t matter how accurate each of his criticisms were, because that was how I was showing up for him—and probably many others. It was important to me not just that I knew who I really was, but that I was living in alignment with my values, and congruent in all of my relationships.
Email responses continued to pour in over the next few days. By the end of the week, 17 of the 23 recipients had replied with their thoughtful and (mostly) constructive criticisms. I had added a lot to my “Constructive Feedback and My New Commitments” document since making a note of my mom’s request for more frequent contact.
So, what were the results?
Let’s just say that I gained more self-awareness and grew more
in a week from reading those responses than I had grown in the previous 5 years combined—and possibly my entire life. It was incredible. It wasn’t easy to put myself in such a vulnerable position and look at all of my flaws—but it was life-changing. It was career-advancing. It was relationship-improving. And it was all a result of mustering up enough courage to send what is probably the most important email that I have ever sent: The Email That Will Change Your Life.
Before I give you The Email That Will Change Your Life below, word-for-word—so you can copy, edit, and send it to your circle of influence—I’d like to take a moment to share some positive feedback with you from one of my coaching clients. She sent this to me after she had sent The Email That Will Change Your Life to her circle of influence:
[From Trudy, one of my VIP Success Coaching clients]: Hal, I can’t believe how effective that email you gave us, the one for requesting personal feedback, has been for me so far. Every reply I’ve received addresses my weaknesses and strengths from the different respective angles of my friends, coworkers, and family members that know me. This has presented me with a more complete picture of myself, and I feel so respected to receive the help from everyone. Not to mention, the email is also found unique and was well-received by everyone who received it!
Thank you, Hal, for helping me so much with your V.I.P. Success Coaching.
With gratefulness, Trudy
P r o b l e m : Feedback avoidance. Most people don’t enjoy negative feedback, so they completely avoid asking for feedback. This prevents them from gaining invaluable data about their strengths and weaknesses, thus preventing them from capitalizing on the former and significantly improving the latter.
S o l u t i o n : Actively seeking and learning from the honest feedback of people who know you (in various capacities) is one of the most effective and fastest ways to gain a new perspective and accelerate your personal development and success.
Instructions: Type the following text into an email (feel free to edit and personalize the email so that it sounds like you.) Send it to 5-30 people (the more the better) who know you well enough to give you an honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses. This may include friends, family, colleagues, mentors, teachers, former employers or managers, customers, your significant other, and if you’re brave enough… wait for it—your ex-significant others.
(Seriously.)
Important: Be sure to put the outgoing email addresses in the BCC field of the email, so that each recipient doesn’t see everyone else you’re sending it to. (Or, you can copy and paste, then send the email to each person individually.)
Subject
Line: This means a lot… Or Would love to get your opinion…
Email Text: Dear friends, family, and colleagues:
Thank you so much for reading this email. This isn’t an easy one for me to send, but it is extremely important to me, so I sincerely appreciate you investing your valuable time reading (and hopefully responding to) it.
This email is going out to only a select group of people. Each of you knows me well, and I’m hoping will give me honest feedback about my strengths and most importantly, my weaknesses (aka “areas of improvement.”)
I’ve never done anything like this before, but I feel that for me grow and improve as a person, I need to get a more accurate picture of how I’m showing up to the people that matter most to me. In order to become the person I need to be to create the life and contribute to others at the levels that I want, I need your feedback.
So, all I’m asking is that you take just a few minutes to email me back with what you honestly think are my top 2-3 “areas of improvement.” If it will make you feel better to also list my top 2-3
“strengths” (I’m sure it will make me feel better J), you are definitely welcome to. That’s it. And please don’t sugarcoat it or hold back anything. I will not be offended by anything that you share. In fact, the more “brutally” honest you are, the more leverage it will give me to make positive changes in my life.
Thank you again, and if there is anything else I can do to add value to your life, please let me know.
With sincere gratitude,
Your Name
Final Thoughts On The Email That Will Change Your Life
That’s it! I hope you will join me, Trudy, and my hundreds of other VIP Coaching clients who have mustered up the courage to be vulnerable and send this email. Some of the life-changing rewards you can count on will be increased self-awareness, deeper understanding of one’s self, and clarity on the changes you can make to quickly take yourself and your life to the next level.
With love and gratitude, always…
“Yo Pal” Hal
— ACKNOWLEDGMENTS —
» Make sure you at least read the last paragraph
(It’s to YOU)
This may be the most challenging part of writing a book. Not because I am short on people to acknowledge—quite the opposite.
There are so many people who have touched my life and made a significant impact that it would simply be impossible to thank them all in the next few pages. In fact, doing so could probably take up an entire book itself. The sequel to this book could be titled: The Miracle Morning ACKNOWLEDGMENTS. I don’t know that too many people would buy it, but I would definitely enjoy writing it.
First, I have to give deep thanks to the woman who carried me around for 9 ½ months and gave me the miracle of life—Mom. I love you so much. Thank you for always believing in me, and disciplining me when I needed it. I still need it. Oh, and you need to come visit more often! J
Dad, of all my best friends, you are my best friend. I am the man I am today because of the father you have been for me my entire life.
You have instilled so many values and qualities in me, which I am even more grateful for now that I know I will be passing them on to my children. I love you, Dad.
To Hayley, you’re the best sister ever. Hands down. No competition. However, not only are you a great sister, you truly are one of my best friends. You are authentic, supportive, kind, and you’re almost as funny as I am! Seriously, I am so grateful that YOU
are my sister—I couldn’t imagine a better one.
To the real-life woman of my dreams—Ursula. You are everything that I have ever wanted in a wife, and so many things I never knew I needed, but now could never live without. I still marvel at how perfect you are for me, and I couldn’t be more grateful to be creating and sharing our lives together. And how ‘bout them cute kids we made, huh? Thank you for blessing me with Sophie and Halsten.
With you at the helm, I know our family is destined for a lifetime of love and happiness.
To Sophie and Halsten, I know you can’t read this yet, but I love you both so much. Thank you for each being everything I ever wanted in a child. I couldn’t be more grateful for the joy and happiness that you bring to my life everyday.
To my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents, I am so thankful for the immeasurable amount of love that you have always shown me.
I love you all and I will always cherish the times we’ve shared together. I look forward to many more!
To my in-laws—Marek, Maryla, Steve, Linda, Adam, and Ania
—I am grateful to be a part of your family.
To my best friends—my circle of influence—any guy would be lucky to have any one of you in his life, and I somehow ended up with ALL of you! We’ve shared A LOT of great times together, but beyond that, it is who you are that makes me strive to be better. If it is true that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, I’ve got nothing to worry about! For your lifelong friendship, I love you: Jeremy Katen, Jon Berghoff, Matt Recore, Jon Vroman, Jesse Levine, Brad Weimert, Ruth Fields, John Ruhlin, Peter Voogd, Tony Carlston, Teddy Watson, Larry Rodriguez, Alex Hayden, and Brian Bedel. To my many friends that I may not have mentioned here, know that it’s not because I don’t love you. I do.
To my extended family at Cutco and Vector——I can’t thank you enough for the incredible opportunity you work so hard to provide for people, every day. To the Presidents, Bruce Goodman, Al DiLeonardo, and John Whelpley, and Executive VP, Amar Davé—I think it’s safe to say that each person I thank from this point forward is able to make the impact they do largely because of your leadership.
Thank you for your extraordinary influence and the impact you have made in my life. To the Region Leaders—Jeff Bry, Earl Kelly, Scott Dennis, P.J. Potter, Loyd Reagan, and Mike Muriel, as well as the Division Managers, thank you for helping to shape my character, and continuing to give me opportunities to positively impact your people.
To my friends on the Cutco and Vector Executive teams: Jeff Kunkel, Fred Glaeser, John Kane, Steve Pokrzyk, Trent Booth, Adam Jester, and Scott Gorrell—your selfless efforts positively impact the lives of thousands of people, including my own. I sincerely appreciate each of you. I would also like to thank the Stitt family for providing the foundation for all that is great about Cutco.
Thank you to the leaders and my friends at Vector Canada—Joe Cardillo, Angie MacDougall, Rhancha Connell, Sherrie Dickie, Michael Smith, and Mike McDonald. Joe and Angie, it’s been years since the first time you invited me to speak at one of your conferences, and I remember being so excited that I could finally officially call myself an “international” speaker! You are always so generous, and I hope the trend of speaking at your events continues for many years to come.
Thank you to my writing and editing gurus—Joel D and Sue Canfield. You were the catalyst that finally got me writing again. This book wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for your expertise and accountability.
To my brilliant friend and the creator of BookMama.com, Linda Sivertsen—you are so talented and have such a gift for making any author’s book idea into a bestselling masterpiece. Thank you for contributing your gifts to this book.
To Gail Lynne Goodwin, Ambassador of Inspiration at InspireMeToday.com. You are simply one of the nicest, most generous and inspiring people I have ever met. I’m grateful to have you in my life, and I can’t wait to go sailing with you.
To the mentors, teachers, and authors who continue to lead through your example of courage and selflessness, and from whom I’ve learned so much: Robin Sharma, Brendon Burchard, Tony Robbins, Dave Durand, Tim Ferris, Matthew Kelly, Rudy Ruettiger, Anthony “AB” Burke, Jeff Sooey, Wayne Dyer, Bill and Steve Harris, James Malinchak, Stephanie Chandler, Roger Crawford, Kevin Bracy, Will Bowen, John Maxwell, T. Harv Eker, Eckart Tolle, Dave Ramsey, Andrew Cohen, Ken Wilber, Seth Godin, Derek Sivers, Chris Brogan, Jonathan Sprinkles, Jonathan Budd, and Michael Ellsberg.
To Kevin Bracy, you deserve significant credit. I was sitting in your seminar just days before my first Miracle Morning, and your words were the catalyst for me to overcome my limiting belief that I was not a “morning person.” You reminded me, “If you want your life to be different, you have to be willing to do something different, first.” I may have never attempted to wake up at 5AM—let alone written this book—if it weren’t for you. Thank you.
To James Malinchak, you also deserve significant credit here.
When I shared The Miracle Morning with you for the first time, you got excited, and you expanded my vision: “Hal, I don’t think you even see how big this is going to be, and how many people this is going to impact!” You have personally inspired tens of thousands of authors, speakers, and coaches to believe in their message, see it bigger, and impact more people. You did that for me, and I can’t thank you enough.
To J. Brad Britton, you taught me one of the most valuable lessons, which I continue to live my life by and share with anyone who will listen— do the right thing, not the easy thing. You don’t just teach it; you live it.
To Adam Stock, thank you for always adding value and wisdom to my life. Your profitability coaching has been invaluable!
To my assistant, Linda: you work so hard to ensure that our clients are well taken care of. Thank you so much for all that you do, and all of the value that you add to my life and to my family.
To the students, teachers, counselors and advisors at every college or high school that I have ever spoken at: thank you for allowing me the opportunity to live my purpose through adding value to your lives.
To my private and VIP Success Coaching clients: I consider it a great privilege to be your Coach, and I thank you for allowing me to support you in achieving your goals and constantly becoming better versions of yourselves. Whether or not you realize it, I learn as much from you as you do from me. Again, thank you for allowing me to be your Coach.
To everyone who supported the launch of this book, your selflessness and commitment to paying forward the benefits you’ve received from The Miracle Morning have left me speechless. First, I have to thank TMM Launch Team—what a blast it was working with you to promote this book. I will forever be grateful and indebted to you. Special thanks to Kyle Smith, Isaac Stegman, Geri Azinger, Marc Ensign, Colleen Elliot Linder, Dashama, Mark Hartley, Dave Powders, Jon Berghoff, Jon Vroman, Jeremy Katen, Ryan Whiten, Robert Gonzalez, Carey Smolenski, Ryan Casey, and Greg Strine.
Finally, to you, the reader: thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life. Let’s keep connecting on Facebook, Twitter, and through The Miracle Morning Community. Please let me know how you’re doing, and if there is ever anything I can do to add value to your life or support a cause you believe in, please don’t hesitate to let me know. All right, now stop reading and start creating. Never settle.
Create the life you deserve to live, and help others to do the same.